Cato requested old men not to add the disgrace of wickedness to old age, which was accompanied with many other evils.
category: history | comment

Duct Tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together. The only difference is that "May The Force be with you" sounds a lot nicer than "May you be covered in duct tape."
category: quips | comment

I've been looking forward to this evening about as much as I'd look forward to having my prostate examined by the Incredible Hulk.
category: comedy | comment

Men just don't seem to jump off the bridge for big reasons; they usually do so for little ones.
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My notion of a wife at 40 is that a man should be able to change her, like a bank note, for two twenties.
category: movies | comment

Nobody shot me.
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The President scores much better than Bill Clinton.
category: tv | comment

The real problem with SDI is that it doesn't kill anybody.
category: movies | comment

The trouble with giving advice is that people want to repay you.
category: humor | comment

We don't pay taxes. Only the little people pay taxes.
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