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#1 score: 0.998

A language that doesn't have everything is actually easier to program in than some that do.

Dennis M. Ritchie

category: computers | comment

#2 score: 0.938

Religion frightens me; spirituality enlightens me.

Chris Pirillo (chris@lockergnome.com)

category: quips | comment

#3 score: 0.916

25 states allow anyone to buy a gun, strap it on, and walk down the street with no permit of any kind: some say it's crazy. However, 4 out of 5 US murders are committed in the other half of the country: so who is crazy?

Andrew Ford

category: politics | comment

#4 score: 0.891

A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby."

Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

category: humor | comment

#5 score: 0.858

I swear -- by my life and my love for it -- that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.

John Galt, in Ayn Rand's _Atlas Shrugged_

category: literature (modern) | comment

#6 score: 0.823

I once had a dog who, like you, insisted on being cheerful in the morning. I got rid of him by giving him to an immigrant Japanese family- and they ate him.

comment

#7 score: 0.808

The sons of Edward sleep in Abraham's bosom.

William Shakespeare (1564-1616), King Richard III
Act iv, Sc. 3

category: literature (classic) | comment

#8 score: 0.733

Never part without loving words to think of during your absence. It may be that you will not meet again in life.

John Paul Richter

category: literature (classic) | comment

#9 score: 0.730

What will it take to wake you up to the fact that you are being erased from the future of America? And why are you being erased? If you're a person of European descent, why do they want your child to be a minority in America? And when your little girl is a minority in America, what will happen to her? Tell me what will happen to her? Do you think that the minorities, when they take over the country, will be quite as benevolent and as enlightened as the European-Americans are today? Or do you sense that just perhaps, just maybe, they will not bring the learnings of the Magna Carta, the Bill of Rights, to their new power?

Michael Savage

category: politics | comment | added 26 months ago

#10 score: 0.647

Open letter to my wife and kids: If Father's Day has already passed, then thanks for the best Father's Day any dad could ever hope for.

John Alejandro King, June 21, 2010

category: humor | comment | added 19 months ago

#11 score: 0.581

My friend and his wife stayed in a hotel and got a bill for ninety dollars. He screamed, "For what, ninety dollars?" The desk clerk said, "For room and board, sir."
My friend said, "Room and board? We didn't eat here." The clerk said, "It was there for you. If you didn't get it it's your fault." My friend said, "You take forty dollars--I'm charging you fifty dollars for fooling around with my wife!"
The clerk said, "I never touched your wife." My friend said, "It was there for you."

Norm Crosby

category: comedy | comment

#12 score: 0.518

Don't ever get your speedometer confused with your clock, like I did once, because the faster you go, the later you think you are.

Jack Handey

category: humor | comment

#13 score: 0.425

She saw a sign saying, "Wet Floor." So she did!

Joan Rivers

category: comedy | comment

#14 score: 0.400

Get the Hell out of my way!

John Galt

category: literature (modern) | comment

#15 score: 0.262

Marta says the interesting thing about fly-fishing is that it's two lives connected by a thin strand. Come on, Marta. Grow up.

Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey

category: humor | comment

#16 score: 0.197

... But reach the thought that it requires -- and the secret of the motor will be yours, as well as ... any other secret you might wish to know.

John Galt

category: literature (modern) | comment

#17 score: 0.093

You know, there's a new poll out that Muslims, the higher educated Muslims in the Middle East are more likely to be extremists? More and more Muslims now hate us all across the world, and it really has not a lot to do with anything other than our morals.

The things that they were saying about us were true. Our morals are just out the window. We're a society on the verge of moral collapse. And our promiscuity is off the charts.

Now I don't think that we should fly airplanes into buildings or behead people because of it, but that's the prevailing feeling of Muslims in the Middle East. And you know what? They're right.

Glenn Beck, February 21, 2007

category: politics | comment | added 59 months ago

#18 score: 0.093

The blood of our troops will be on the hands of Congress soon. Here's how I got there. The Democratic Party leaders are proposing a new bill, which calls for bringing the troops home from Iraq by early next year, then removing whatever troops remain by October 2008.

Here's what I don't know. How do these people in Congress, Democrats and Republicans, who want to have it both ways, how do you sleep at night? How do you do it?

If your bill goes through, I hope you can't go to bed any single night without the images of body bags of our American soldiers coming off those planes. I hope they dance in your head every single night, because you will be just as responsible for their deaths as anyone who has ever strapped a bomb to their chest and screamed, "Allah Akbar."

Glenn Beck, March 8, 2007

video | category: politics | comment | added 58 months ago

#19 score: 0.089

They say you shouldn't say nothin' about the dead unless it's good. He's dead. Good.

Moms Mabley

category: comedy | comment

#20 score: 0.069

Reckeners without their host must recken twice.

John Heywood (c. 1565)
Proverbes, Part i, Chap. viii

category: literature (classic) | comment