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In their own words, from the ridiculous to the sublime:
Thinkers and Jokers
Do your kids a favor--don't have any.

Robert Orben
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Humor

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John Alejandro King That's 'Great Satan' with a capital G and S, if you don't mind!

category: humor | comment | added 3 days ago


John Alejandro King As long as it doesn't solve anything, violence is totally acceptable.

category: humor | comment | added 3 days ago


John Alejandro King If two people agree on everything, one of them is probably imaginary.

category: humor | comment | added 3 days ago | from 'My War On Terror!'


John Alejandro King Is it OK if I bite the hand that doesn't feed me?

category: humor | comment | added 3 days ago | from 'My War On Terror!'


John Alejandro King In space, if you bend down to pray, be careful not to lose your footing, or you'll go tumbling end over end through the cosmos forever.

category: humor | comment | added 3 days ago | from 'My War On Terror!'


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Humor


Jay Leno The largest donor at the Clinton library turns out to be Saudi Arabia. Yeah. Well, some critics argue that such close financial ties to the Mideast could be a conflict of interest. However, Hillary Clinton says she will not advocate Arab policies. Except, you know, the practice of stoning adulterers.

category: comedy | comment | added 9 days ago


Jay Leno It was so cold in Alaska, somebody is putting chapstick on a pig.

category: comedy | comment | added 9 days ago


John Alejandro King What time isn't it?

category: humor | comment | added 11 days ago | from 'Secrets of 9/11'


John Alejandro King If you're jumping on a trampoline when the Rapture comes and you leave your body in mid-jump, how many more times will your lifeless corpse bounce up and down, and will God be angry if you and your friends bet on this while you're floating up to heaven?

category: humor | comment | added 11 days ago | from 'The Naked Intelligence Officer'


John Alejandro King If there's one prediction we can safely make about the future, it's that guarding the self-destruct mechanism will continue to be a remarkably low-paying job.

category: humor | comment | added 11 days ago | from 'Who Killed The Covert Comic?'


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