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Language is the armory of the human mind, and at once contains the trophies of its past and the weapons of its future conquests.

Samuel Coleridge (1772-1834)
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John Alejandro King Patriotism may be the last refuge of a scoundrel, but hey, at least I'm helping my country.

category: humor | comment | added 4 days ago | from 'My War On Terror!'



Craig Ferguson Sources say Colin Powell is getting ready to endorse Barack Obama. Bad news for John McCain, but at his age, you’ve got to expect colon problems.

category: comedy | comment | added 35 hours ago



Craig Ferguson A Republican politician form Idaho has endorsed Barack Obama. The last time a Republican switched sides was in an airport men's room.

category: comedy | comment | added 5 days ago



Craig Ferguson It’s Fidel Castro’s birthday today. It’s Danny Bonaduce’s birthday too. Both very different, of course. One’s an aging tyrant that many consider to be the red menace that threatens America. And the other is Fidel Castro.

category: comedy | comment | added 5 days ago



Craig Ferguson Barack Obama said today he wouldn’t raise taxes on anyone over 70 ... and McCain said Obama was just pandering to the youth vote.

category: comedy | comment | added 5 days ago



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Humor



John Alejandro King All coffee is instant coffee.

category: humor | comment | added 4 days ago | America's funniest covert intelligence officer!



Jon Stewart Bush did sit down with the premiere Olympic sportscaster of all time, Bob Costas, to discuss what he thought was so weird about the invasion [on screen: Bush saying he thought it was odd Russia invaded Georgia during a time when the world is promoting 'peace and harmony,' and that there needs to be 'international mediation there']. Yes. Sometimes international mediation can solve conflicts. That's President Bush winning the preliminary heat in the 200 meter lack of self-awareness dash.

category: comedy | comment | added 5 days ago



Craig Ferguson It turns out the Chinese faked part of the opening ceremonies. They made the fireworks look more lively. It's the same technology they use for John McCain.

category: comedy | comment | added 5 days ago



Jay Leno In an interview recorded by the BBC, in Africa, Bill Clinton told people there to practice monogamy, and that we need to control unprotected sexual relations with unlimited numbers of partners. The minute he said that, members of the Secret Service wrestled him to the ground and said, “Who are you, and what have you done with the real Bill Clinton?”

category: comedy | comment | added 11 days ago



David Letterman John McCain was at the big annual motorcycle rally in Sturgis, up there in North Dakota, South Dakota. Is there a difference? Can't we just make it one big Dakota? And John suggested that his wife could compete in the topless beauty pageant at the motorcycle rally. Yeah! You know, what that reminds me of, is the time during the campaign that Bill Clinton suggested that Hillary should compete in a wet pantsuit contest.

category: comedy | comment | added 11 days ago



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