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There's untold wealth in Africa, and untold Africa in wealth. |
 category: humor | comment | added 3 days ago
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According to its official history, the Cambridge University Press was founded in 1534 by royal charter from Henry VIII, and has been operating continuously since publishing its first book in 1584. As for why it took 50 years to publish that first volume, I assume university presses just moved more quickly in those days. |
category: humor | comment | added 3 days ago
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I assume the phrase 'If you can't say something nice, don't say anything' is a nice thing to say. |
category: humor | comment | added 3 days ago
President Obama had his annual physical and apparently everything is all right. And also, Dick Cheney went in for his annual autopsy. |
category: comedy | comment | added 6 days ago
Gatorade just announced they're ending their relationship with Tiger Woods. Apparently, they made the decision after they checked his cell phone and found texts from Powerade and Vitamin Water. |
category: comedy | comment | added 6 days ago
Balloons dropped because Dick Cheney had his millionth heart attack. And who came by yesterday to cheer him up? The Angel of Duh himself, George Bush. They sat together, and Bush said he had spent the last year working on his book. I swear. Hard to believe Bush has a book. But if you buy Cheney has a heart… |
category: comedy | comment | added 6 days ago
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Being politicians you know, they all got to sharing their personal stories [at the health care summit]. Obama talked about his mother’s battle with cancer. And Harry Reid talked about a kid with a cleft palate. And John McCain's told how he once carried a brain dead woman through an entire campaign. |
category: comedy | comment | added 6 days ago
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The future was now. |
category: humor | comment | added 11 days ago
It’s a bad day for General Motors. They’re shutting down the Hummer. The Chinese were going to buy it, but after careful consideration, the Chinese decided they don’t want it. You know you’re in pretty bad shape when you can’t even give away a Hummer. |
category: comedy | comment | added 10 days ago
Former Vice President Dick Cheney was released from the hospital today after being treated for a mild heart attack, his fifth heart attack. Next one's free.
Something weird happened in the hospital. When they were putting the electrodes on him for the EKG, he suddenly started screaming, 'Stop! I'll tell you everything you want to know!' |
category: comedy | comment | added 10 days ago
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Humor
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There are no friendly intelligence services, just very horny ones. |
category: humor | comment | added 11 days ago
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Be who, or whom, you are. |
category: humor | comment | added 11 days ago
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The real question isn't whether you're cleared for top secret, it's whether you're cleared for unclassified. |
category: humor | comment | added 11 days ago
Tiger Woods is making a televised public apology tomorrow. He needs three more to tie my record.
I’m glad Tiger is taking care of this now before it becomes a big story. |
category: comedy | comment | added 13 days ago
Top Ten Surprising Facts About Curling
10. Every year it's watched by dozens of people
9. Consistently ranked the world's no. 1 broom-related sport
8. It's a lot like hockey, minus the speed and excitement
7. No no. 7 — writer fell asleep while researching curling facts
6. Not to be confused with Norwegian sport "Carling" where you push a guy named Carl across ice
5. Longest match ever: unknown, because no one ever stays till the end
4. No no. 4 — writer still asleep. Damn, curling is boring
3. Mickey Rourke making film about washed-up curling legend who comes back for one last big curl
2. Thing they slide down the ice is called "Thing they slide down the ice"
1. No one cares |
category: comedy | comment | added 13 days ago
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There's a bit of a scandal in men's figure skating at the Olympics. Three skaters have tested positive for 'fabulous.' |
category: comedy | comment | added 13 days ago
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I've never been caught up in a love triangle, but I have had sex in a pentagon. |
category: humor | comment | added 18 days ago
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In 'The Elements of Style' William Strunk wrote "A sentence should contain no unnecessary words." There are 23 additional words in that sentence, but this is Strunk's essential idea. |
category: humor | comment | added 18 days ago
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The law of the intelligence jungle: brief or be briefed. |
category: humor | comment | added 18 days ago
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The data isn't fudged, it's semi-sweetened. |
category: humor | comment | added 18 days ago
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